Growth is hard because when that transformation happens for you, the people around you aren’t ready for it. They’re confused by it. They’re not used to an evolving and growing YOU. Their behavior changes because you’ve changed. That’s fair. That’s why… Growth is lonely.
But it’s a new year.
Even though absolutely nothing changes at the stroke of midnight on Jan 1, it’s just another way of accepting the opportunity to move on what is in front of you. Doing what you’ve been doing to grow until this point. How are you going to keep going?
You may be perceived as a stranger and people may begin to act suspicious but that’s fair. You’re not that “you”anymore. Does that make sense? It’s a new evolved grown you. So what’s next?
I didn’t bring in the new year feeling organized and put together. I didn’t clean out and unsubscribe all the junk mail in my inbox. I didn’t start a new diet or workout plan. I’m still sleeping in. I’m still staying awake at night anxious about the looming future.
Honestly, I even missed the countdown heating up leftover pasta. Yup. Self served margaritas all night will most definitely lead me to kitchen in front of the microwave. But now I consider it a win because what’s better than leftovers at 12am?
Anyways, it was just not the best first impression meeting the first day of the year. But who cares right?
That’s a standard and practice we have created right? There’s nothing superstitious about having a complete clean slate right on the 1st right?
I hope not. And if it is, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know, thanks.
In fact, I’m on no schedule without a job still so I can take my time right? To be thoughtful and thorough, to plan. To jump in when those moments arise in me.
All I can do is move one foot in front of the other. Because I know I will get there. I don’t know HOW but I do know I just have to move. Keep at it.
So here I am, committing tomorrow will be more productive. Just one step ahead. Then another. And another.
That’s how it works and I’ve forgotten that. I’m still not confident in myself but if not me, who else?!
I just have to remember that. Because I know I have something positive to contribute.
Maybe I’m starting to find my way home.
Obviously this is my naive hopeful self again but thats the point of everyone’s practice to “clean out before the new year” right?
To feel a little hopeful. Very cautiously and hesitantly hopeful, honestly not expecting anything but to just move. Make a wave. A small wave.
So here’s to this moment of “maybe I actually can, so I’m going to try.” No expectations, just movement in the moment. What do I have to lose?
So ready or not…. LOOK ALIVE.
The party continues whether you want it to or not!